Freshmen Fail #1

On the very first day of university, my friend Jillian was zoning out during the assembly. She snapped back to reality when she noticed people standing up beside her. So, following suit, she stood up as well. Turns out, the speaker had called all the residence assistants to stand up. She's only a first-year.

lulz.

The university life, for reals.

Ode to the Heater

Oh, you wretched heater,
Is my life all that great?
Sure, you heat like a baus,
But sometimes I just hate.. you.

You are oh so toasty
by mid-afternoon,
But I'm choking slowly
On your foul.. stench. [it fell away from me a little]

[this is the best part]
It's so damn cold outside.
There is frost on the grass.
You're not on come morning,
And I'm freezing my ass.

Moral of the story: Eff you heater, you make loud noise and heat the wrong time of day.

My biology teacher.

Without fail, he always starts the class with a recap of how our sports teams are doing.
So we always know the specifics of our sucking right before we delve into the enthralling specifics of protists.
It's a great tactic to get us to concentrate on our sucking rather than learning the boring details of early moss reproduction.
Because we really learn things.
Things that definitely help us pass our exams.

Meh, why do I care, our hockey team won yesterday!

Advantages to volunteering at a cafe...

1. Free coffee. Every time you work.
2. Listening to big band jazz music. Holla.
3. Get to pretend you're a huge coffee enthusiast.
4. Stereotypical 'hipster' persona.
5. The ability to work AND study. [or work and go online]
6. Keeping the tips.
7. Smells like goodness all the time.
8. Experimenting with your artistic talent in latte foam.
9. Job experience. [I hear Starbucks calling already..]
10. Meeting and socializing with students, teachers, and what we call 'music moms' who bring their children for music lessons.
11. My friend and co-worker Beth gives me sporadic massages :]

University To-Do List

Because we have so much homework and such, most of the time, we're hard at work. Studying, writing, analyzing.. it's all we do, really [such lies].
But the times where we're not being studious students studying?
We're...

•Eating [rice, peanut butter, extra dessert we sneaked to our room, milk we stole from the cafeteria]

•Watching quality programming [like Grey's Anatomy, Glee.. Or 16 and Pregnant.. you know who you are]

•Figuring out transit schedules [we seem to think the bus will come when we get to the stop without looking them up first]

•Finding interesting things online [that need our undivided attention just before we start our essays]

 ex. one of our favourites, from iwastesomuchtime.com, we find much here

•Going out [only drinking tea and juice, guys..]

•Chatting about guys [they really screw us over]

•Colouring [Sesame Street is our personal fave]

•Planning a million different trips during reading week [like Six Flags.. in February]

•Watching YouTube fads [Jon Lajoie, Nigahiga, "Don't Touch Me I'm Scared" and taping a reaction.. more to come on that]

ex. our sexy sexy role model, Sexy Sax Man Sergio Flores

•Being overly interested in our crazy fish [Dartangan Kumar's water really needs to be changed.. after Grey's.. before my assignment..]

•Waiting for Nyan Cat to change from a toast to a pop-tart 

We haven't gotten to this remarkable feat of.. not nature..

•Singing 'Fresh Prince of Belair' theme [Will Smith in his prime]

•Drool over hot guys [objectifying, I know..]

•Watching people outside our window [making out, missing their bus, ect.]

oh, and..

•Cramming and starting essays last minute after all of this is complete

ps. I should probably start reviewing for my midterm.. tomorrow..